Film

Sonic the Hedgehog: The Movie (Trailer Review)

I’m currently playing through Mortal Kombat 11, and haven’t put in enough time to adequately give it the review it deserves (it’s real good so far). But that’s not what I’d like to discuss today. Another video game related thing surfaced yesterday, (April 30th, 2019), our day of reckoning: the trailer for the Sonic the Hedgehog movie.

First off, I just want to say I love Jim Carrey, and I love the idea of Jim Carrey as Dr. Robotnik/Eggman/whatever you think his proper name is (its Robotnik. I will die on this hill). Just based on the trailer, he’s the only person having any fun in this movie and will chew up every scene he’s in, and I’m here for it. He’s also good looking. He made Dr. Robotnik into Dr. Rohotnik. James Marsden, better known as Cyclops from the X-Men films, plays a cop and serves as being Sonic’s partner because nothing is funnier than a human character interacting with CG right?

The voice of Sonic the Hedgehog is voiced by Ben Schwartz which, according to his IMDb page, is known for his roles as Jean-Ralphio in Parks and Rec and perhaps his most prestigious role: a stormtrooper in The Last Jedi.

The trailer is set to the soothing sounds of the Sonic music that you know and love. And by that, I mean Gangster’s Paradise. I don’t know about you, but when I think of Sonic music, I keep the classics in my head: Green Hill Zone, Casino Zone, and Coolio.

Now, we have to talk about the reason why we are all here –the pièce de résistance– Sonic the Hedgehog A.K.A the unholy abomination that has been sent to us from on High as a punishment for our sins.

Sonic is straight-up terrifying. First off, its implied that he’s an alien. Like from space. THE space. And like all aliens, he has to help us poor earthlings save the planet from Jim Carrey and his assortment of evil killamajigs. Sonic looks bad. The CGI is unnerving as his facial features are way too small for his big head and his slender legs on his slender body make it look like someone just made a CGI version of someone wearing a bad sonic suit. He also has human teeth, (all the better to devour the living.)

I don’t know how I feel about the Sonic movie.

It certainly looks B A D, but I know what kind of person I am, and regardless of how I feel about it, I’m going to see it. I am going to pay actual money to watch this movie in a theater, and I hope it will be enough to keep our furry blue overlord from eradicating all of human kind for just one more day.

I give the Sonic trailer 10/5 stars (please have mercy on us, O Great Blue One.)

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