One of my favorite Halloween pastimes is binging horror movies the entire month of October.
I love sitting in the dark with the room, only to be illuminated by the glow of the television, watching classics like The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Halloween, or newer spook fests like Hereditary and The Conjuring. But I’m not here to talk about those, I’m here to talk about video game movies. Movies so bad, they’re absolutely terrifying. To keep things in theme, I’m only going to be talking about the movies I’ve seen that are based off horror games, which is unfortunately most of them. Be aware there may be some spoilers most likely, but you honestly aren’t getting much spoiled for you anyway.
Resident Evil: All of Them
I don’t know what’s worse: the fact that they made six of these movies, or that enough people watched them so they could afford to make six of these movies. I will come out and say that I actually like the first RE flick. Is it stupid? Absolutely, but it does stay closer to the source material than the others. The sequel, Resident Evil: Apocalypse, tried to do the same, by having Nemesis appear in the movie –but man, its bad. After Apocalypse, I don’t know exactly what happened, but they essentially tried to turn the franchise into the Fast and the Furious of zombie movies. Even though the first one is passable, there are no GOOD Resident Evil movies, and in 2017, it was announced that the film franchise was getting a reboot, and it was going to be produced by James Wan…and then he left the project in 2018. New writer/director Johannes Roberts said that the reboot was going to be “super, super scary” but I’m not sure how it gets much scarier than Resident Evil: The Final Chapter.
I’m just going to put this out there: I am an enormous Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson supporter, and I truly believe the man can do no wrong… except for Doom. That film was wrong —incredibly wrong. This movie takes everything about the corny but fun action game about a man literally just called “DOOM GUY” that kills demons from hell in space, and turns it into a corny but soulless action movie that is about Karl Urban shooting some zombies. Plus it adds The Rock who turns into a weird evil demon at the end which is a questionable choice. They also change the name of the BFG from “Big Fucking Gun” to “Bio Force Gun” because who knows why. At least the first-person scene is so dumb its hilarious.
Okay so in my “research” for this, I went down a list of worst video game movies so I could see which ones to watch. Silent Hill was on there, and while it’s not a great movie by any means, it’s the most passable out of all the ones I’m talking about here. Pyramid Head looks great, the atmosphere is just the right amount of “ooooooh spoooooky” you expect from a movie like this, and it’s honestly just a fun time. The dialogue and acting is pretty bad, but the acting in the games weren’t going to win anyone an Oscar anyway, so who cares? If anything, the bad acting is as true to the source material as it gets.
Mortal Kombat Annihilation
So, for this last movie, I’m going to flub the rules and have it not be a horror movie because it’s my list. I can do what I want. The OG Mortal Kombat movie is legitimately one of my favorite movies because its a trip in its own right. The CG is bad, the acting is bad, and the plot is bad, but all of it is bad in a way that’s so genuinely entertaining that I can’t help but love it.
Annihilation turns all that up to 11 and the end result is…something? All but two of the lead actors jumped ship for the sequel, and the story somehow became even MORE nonsensical. The special effects got worse and the acting also got worse along with it. I always find myself cackling at this movie every time I watch it but unlike the first MK movie which just warms my soul, the laughter is always backed by a little bit of pain with Annihilation. It’s not as bad as anything Uwe Boll has done (as comparable to his terrible video-game-influenced House of the Dead movie), and I’m willing to excuse a lot of the bad effects and acting because this movie came out in 1997, but man, is it painful to watch sometimes.
If you haven’t seen any of the movies on this list, do yourself a favor and don’t.
Apart from Silent Hill or the first Resident Evil movie, I can’t really recommend these to anyone because they’re pretty rough watches. If you MUST subject yourself to something on the list, make it MK Annihilation, a film that’s so insane it may as well be on par with The Room.